"HI! You're online. I'm online. Maybe we should get together sometime and be online.
Last night I got sick, I think from a disgusting egg salad sandwich that I got out of the machine at work. Plus I got a cough which made it IMPOSSIBLE not to throw it up. So I was coughing and puking and then I peed my pants. Like it alllllll just came out. It was great. It was the fastest pee ever!!! It was amazing."
I crack me up.
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